3.23.17

The past few months have made me realize how much I appreciate being single. So my both my sister and my best friend went through a break up. My only married friend is questioning whether or not she wants to be married, my roommates have been going through a rough patch and my other best friend is thinking about moving out by herself but to let her boyfriend stay with her as much as he needs and possibly pay for groceries.

As much as people talk about the benefits with being in a relationship I just cannot see how for my situation, a relationship would work for me. I mean I guess for other people it works out great, but for me I just feel like it would be an awful idea. I have no idea where I will be the in the next year, no idea what my next job looks like, no idea what city I want to be living in. I just don’t know how I could bring someone else into the uncertainity which my life is right now. I mean I am already so confused about what I want to do next and what will be best for me, I can’t not even imagine having to take another person’s opinions and wishes into consideration. I am a selfish person and I want to make sure that I am doing everything that I can in order to make sure that I am happy. If I had to take into account another person’s happiness, I don’t think it would work. I mean I am always willing to do whatever other people need from me and I hope to be helping provide support for the people around me but, I am not ready to compromise on the things which I think I want for someone else. I’m only 23 for pete’s sake. I don’t need to be asking someone else what I should or shouldn’t be doing. Like of course in the future I want to settle down and start a family and the idea of having someone as an equal and someone to support me sounds amazing but right now I need to do my own thing and figure out my what I want out of my own life before I combine it with someone else.