This weekend I am flying out to San Diego with my sister. It was my graduation gift to her a trip just the two of us. I am really excited to go but this trip has been stressing me out. This month was a high spending month for me because I had to replace all of my breaks which cost me way more than I was anticipating and then I had to pay for the airbnb, a car rental, and now the actual trip itself. I have the money and I am not actually struggling but, it has been stressful spending so much this month and not putting a lot into my savings, actually taking money out of my savings which was a gut dropping realization I had to make. I know rationally that the point of a savings is for when things happen like when you need new brakes so that you can pay for them without going into debt but, in my head my savings has always been there so that I can have enough money to move. And so I have been internalizing the fact that I had to put my money towards brakes which is making my decision to go away on vacation seem a bit frivilous.
To top it off, I have been really thinking about what my next step is in regards to my career. I have been at my job for a full year, I know SHOCKER. But with my lease going to be up in October and I know that I don’t want to move back home I have been stressing out over what I should do next. A big part of me really just wants to pack up and move out of the state. It is what I have wanted to do for such a long time. I never thought when I was graduating that I was going to move back to New Jersey and yet I have been here for a full two years. It is just scary to think that I am getting further and further away from my original plans but at the same time they are still goals which I have. And now being in NJ with my job which is in the field that I want to be in and has been giving me opportunities which might not come from other jobs. I know that once I get my masters I will move out of the state or even potential go out of state for my masters but either way I know that being here is not forever because I don’t want it to be forever and I am going to do everything that I can to put myself in the position to achieve anything I want to.